It’s been a pretty eventful couple of weeks/months here at Good Enough Mother and for the woman behind the movement (yeah that would be me!). There have been some changes that have left me more in control of my site, my brand, and myself. However, with freedom comes fear and I’d be lying if I said it was easy. But part of the GEM ethos, which I wrote about in my book (Click here to buy an autographed copy!) is doing the best you can and letting the rest go. That is precisely what I am doing now. Yep, the best I can do is good enough.
The other day, someone tweeted to me about knowing your worth and I started thinking about the ways I was undercutting that myself (yes, even I struggle with self-doubt). Then I made a promise to myself; I was going to stop that RIGHT NOW. Unfortunately that’s easier said than done but certainly not impossible. So I came up with these: five tips to knowing your personal worth.
NO ONE WILL BELIEVE IN YOU AS MUCH AS YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: This is not optional. Start here and everything else will follow. Throughout your life you will enjoy the support of some key people and that’s a good thing. But at the end of the day, they go home to their lives and you to yours. Understand that this is your life, your vision. No one else will approach it with the same fervor you do. For them, it’s a job; for you, your true desire. Remember that.
THERE IS NO ROOM IN YOUR LIFE FOR PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD: Recently I was in a position where I found myself tiptoeing around someone. My palms would sweat and my heart race whenever I had to interact with them. I would read and reread emails I had to send, searching for any wording that might piss them off. Then I remembered what I told the Disney Social Media Moms this summer; “there is no room in your life for people who make you feel bad.” I had to stop and take a breath. I stood up so confidently on stage and told these women to “just say no” to toxic people but I wasn’t doing that myself! So I woke up the other morning and said, “SCREW THAT!” and did something about it. For as scary as it was, it was also incredibly empowering. Leave room in your life for people who stoke your fire, not soak your fire.
I DON’T KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS, BUT I CAN FIGURE IT OUT: What I am doing is a colossal undertaking. It’s also something I have never done before. Do I know all the ins and outs? Of course not. But I’ll learn. The other day a friend made me cry when she called me resilient. ME! She’s right, you know. This is a new phase, for me, my life and career and hell yes, it’s scary. But, as my friend pointed out, I have been through a lot worse; I will get through this too and be better, faster, stronger for it.
NOT EVERYONE WILL LIKE YOU: LET THAT BE THEIR PROBLEM: I think this is a tough one, especially for women. We want people to like us, we’ve been raised to be “good girls” and somewhere along the way, some of us take that to mean, “go along to get along.” We don’t stand up for ourselves, even in business situations, because we’re afraid we might make an enemy or that someone might not like us. News flash! Not everyone will like you. Some will be people you do business with, some will be people who watch you on TV, some will be people who see you walk down the street and hate your for no reason other than the way you wear your hair. Pull up your big girl britches and deal with it. Repeat after me; I. Don’t. Care.
DON’T EXPECT TO GROW WHEN YOU’RE COMFORTABLE OR TO BE COMFORTABLE WHEN YOU’RE GROWING: I wish I could achieve true greatness from right here, inside GEM World Headquarters. How likely is that to happen? Not likely at all. I have to move, learn, and stretch beyond what I think I’m capable of. And it hurts like hell. Sometimes relationships, when they’re not moving in the same direction, fall victim to that growth. It’s times like this we have to remember that, what looks like an end, is actually a cleverly disguised beginning. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less. But it is, what it is.
I know this isn’t one of my usual, spiky posts; I just wanted to share this with you. I value your opinion, treasure your support and wanted say thanks. Good Enough Mother isn’t going anywhere, just learning, growing and moving on.
What about you? Do you know your worth? Do you value it? Do you have people in your space and life who suck the wind out of your sails? Why are they still there?
After two decades as a television news anchor, including four years on CBS’ The Early Show, Rene decided it was time for a change. Tired of reading from a teleprompter, René was determined to find her own voice and inspire women like herself – juggling busy lives, raising children and trying to live up to impossible parenting ideals. The result is René’s missive on modern motherhood, Good Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting and its subsequent website www.goodenoughmother.com.
As the daughter of two, breast cancer survivors, René underwent a preventive mastectomy in 2007 and now works tirelessly to promote early detection.
Rene is a regular guest on CNN, BET, Anderson, The Bill Cunningham Show, The Today Show and The Doctors and is an in-demand speaker. She is a proud wife to Buff Parham and parent to Casey and Cole.